Tales from an unforgettable July 4th boxing BBQ for the ages
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My wife and I hosted a mythical July 4th barbecue in our backyard filled with folks from the boxing world. It was quite a scene. Here’s how it all went down:
Moments before the barbecue got underway my wife declared to all that any discussion of marinating could only pertain to our scrumptious selection of meats and not fights we want to see.
Just before we cranked up the grills, David Diamante strode to the center of the yard and shouted, “THE BARBECUE STARTS NOW!!!!”
After the guests arrived, the classy Jimmy Lennon Jr., who was also in the center of the backyard, roared, “IT’S LUNCH TIME!”
And Michael Buffer, next to Jimmy and David, made his own announcement: “Ladies and gentlemen, on the red table we have fresh corn on the cob, coleslaw, macaroni salad and mango salsa! And on the red table, there are burgers, hot dogs, steaks, chicken and lobster tails!”
Larry Merchant made the trip and, as he always used to do on HBO, put it all in perspective regarding what was about to happen: “Will this day go down as a sizzling and memorable cookout or will the flames of great expectation be extinguished due to an empty propane tank? Let’s. Find. Out.”
Tyson Fury swore he was retired from attending barbecues but to nobody’s surprise he showed up and made some videos for his Instagram page.
I invited Dana White and thought he would come over but he made it clear that he wasn’t interested in eating with other promoters.
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Canelo Alvarez and Terence Crawford arrived arm in arm with Turki Alalshikh and they sat together at their own table sharing a nice meal.
Ryan Garcia and Oscar De La Hoya were on hand but security spent all day making sure they didn’t kill each other.
Teofimo Lopez, of course, was invited and he RSVP’d that he would attend but at the last minute he didn’t show up. Devin Haney was very disappointed.
Bob Arum had attended all of my barbecues since 2017 and was always a good guest but the decision was made not invite him back this year.
Dmitry Bivol barely beat Artur Beterbiev in the rib eating contest to avenge his loss at last year’s BBQ so they’re going to go at it for a third time at the next barbecue they attend.
Chris Eubank Jr. made the trip over for the barbecue and it was a big relief to Conor Benn when Eubank got caught trying to enter the yard with an egg in his pocket.
Jake Paul said that even though he’d only been to a few low-level barbecues he nonetheless runs the barbecue world — although he was very tired near the end of the meal.
I only invited Julio Cesar Chavez Jr. out of respect for his legendary father and when Junior showed up he didn’t really do anything for the entire barbecue until scarfing down a burger and hot dog in the final six minutes.
Katie Taylor and Amanda Serrano thrilled everyone when they engaged in an epic food fight.
Eddie Hearn touted the day as though it would be the best barbecue experience of all time; that it was an unmissable event people would talk about forever. And then Frank Warren beat him 10-0 in horseshoes.
I spotted Tim Tszyu and Sebastian Fundora both having steaks that were very, very bloody rare.
Back in the day, Mike Tyson would always cause trouble at the barbecue, but in recent years he’s been in a great mood. He even brought weed for everyone.
Jai Opetaia and Zurdo Ramirez stayed on opposite sides of the yard but vowed they’d mingle with each other at the next one.
Brian Norman Jr. said he was having a great time just as he had at a recent barbecue in Japan. He is also planning to travel to one in Saudi Arabia in November.
Sandy Ryan was understandably very upset when somebody threw ketchup all over her on the way over. She blamed Mikaela Mayer, who denied any involvement.
Wow! After having not been seen at any BBQs — or anywhere else publicly for that matter — for the past two years, Max Kellerman, always a welcome guest, showed up out of the blue and proceeded to enthrall all of us with his take on the all-time barbecue pound-for-pound list.
We were all saddened that George Foreman and Mike McCallum couldn’t make it.
Vassiliy Lomachenko thought long and hard about whether he would attend but he eventually said that while he appreciated the invitation he was no longer going to attend barbecues.
David Benavidez wasn’t invited to the barbecue he really wanted to go to so he accepted an invitation to this one and made the best of it.
Manny Pacquiao, who was recently inducted into the barbecue Hall of Fame, hadn’t been to one in four years but just couldn’t stay away any longer.
Gervonta Davis seemed to be enjoying himself when suddenly he ran inside and grabbed a towel even though going in the house was against the rules. Somehow, he got away with it.
Naoya Inoue has a very ambitious barbecue schedule this year. This was the second one he has attended so far with plans to go to another in September and then a fourth one in December.
At last year’s BBQ, Richardson Hitchins had a forgettable karaoke performance singing slow songs, but this year he picked up the pace, hit all the right notes, and everybody enjoyed the performance.
Jim Lampley hadn’t attended a barbecue in years but, amazingly, this year it happened!
Keyshawn Davis was kind enough to bring an extra 4.3 pounds of steak to grill but when he started a brawl with some other guests we had to kick him out.
Shakur Stevenson is an outstanding guest just not always the most exciting one.
Year after year, Anthony Joshua and Deontay Wilder promised they would attend the barbecue but never did. They decided to make an appearance this year but there was much less interest in their presence than there would have been in years past.
Jaime Munguia brought the potato salad but when tests revealed it had gone bad, he vowed to get to the bottom of it.
Vergil Ortiz was on hand and said he’d be happy to welcome Boots Ennis when he arrived for his first BBQ in the neighborhood.
Fabio Wardley was over at one of the picnic tables being outclassed in a checkers game but suddenly, out of nowhere, he pulled a quintuple jump to win.
Janibek Alimkhanuly brought two cases of soda but nobody seemed to care.
I noticed Netflix executives quietly keeping an eye on how everything was going because they are thinking about getting more regularly involved in barbecues.
Unfortunately, there was one ugly scene when Daniel Dubois launched a Frisbee and it hit Oleksandr Usyk in the groin, but Dubois insisted it was not that low.
Edgar Berlanga and Hamzah Sheeraz spent the afternoon arguing with each other.
Bam Rodriguez is a very underrated guest. He showed up on time, was very polite to everyone, didn’t complain about anything, and impressed us all by dominating all comers at the board game table.
Floyd Schofield canceled attending the previously scheduled barbecue at the last minute because he said he was ill, but he not only showed up at this one, he impressed everyone by grilling a delicious meal in just 78 seconds.
I felt bad for Bakhram Murtazaliev, who was all by himself, because none of the top guys wanted to sit with him.
I think Claressa Shields was a bit frustrated, because as it is year in and year out she just cannot find anyone to give her a remotely decent challenge at lawn darts.
Mauricio Sulaiman enjoyed himself so much that he said for next year’s party he would commission a special WBC barbecue belt for the winner of the chicken wing eating contest.
This year’s barbecue was so good that it was declared the barbecue world champion by the WBA. I took that as an incredible honor — until I found out that the WBA also named two other barbecues champion as well.
When the long day was over, everybody seemed to have had a good time. Now we await the DAZN announcement of how many global streams it did.
Happy July 4th!
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Good stuff Dan..brings back memories of the old espn chats!
Really fun read. Happy 4th, everyone!